I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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