I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
