I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
