Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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