Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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