i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
