You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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