That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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