you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
