used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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