do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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