Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
