I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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