I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
