She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
