Already got asked if we're dating
I just gift wrapped bread.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
