Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
