omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he thought i was a dude.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize