I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
