Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize