He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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