"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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