I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize