oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
