You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
