I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
