youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
