Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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