the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize