Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
