i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize