Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize