I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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