I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
