my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
