I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
