he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
