I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
