Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize