Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
