What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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