The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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