can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
As shirtless as possible
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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