At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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