My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
