When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
