Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I cannot find my penis.
one might say we're banned from that church
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
