real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize