I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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