u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
