He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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