how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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