two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
