all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
