ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize