i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
