What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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