Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
