i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize