idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
