Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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